Those Crazy Christians

Intro: Those crazy Christians, I was gonna sleep in today But the church bells woke me up and they’re a half a mile away Those crazy Christians, dressed up drivin’ down my street Get their weekly dose of guilt before they head to Applebee’s They pray before they eat and they pray before they snore They pray before a football game and every time they score Every untimely passing, every dear departed soul Is just another good excuse to bake a casserole Those crazy Christians, go and jump on some airplane And fly to Africa or Haiti, risk their lives in Jesus’ name No, they ain’t the late night party kind They curse the devil’s whiskey while they drink the Savior’s wine A famous TV preacher has a big affair and then One tearful confession and he’s born again again Someone yells hallelujah and they shout and clap and sing It’s like they can’t wait to forgive someone for just about anything Those crazy Christians Instead of being outside on this sunny afternoon They’re by the bedside of a stranger in a cold hospital room And every now and then they meet a poor lost soul like me Who’s not quite sure just who or what or how he ought to be They march him down the aisle and then the next thing that you know They dunk him in the water and here comes another one of those crazy Christians They look to heaven their whole life And I think what if they’re wrong but what if they’re right You know it’s funny, much as I’m baffled by it all If I ever really needed help, well you know who I’d call Is those crazy Christians