The Bull Rider

I was sittin' in a bar room one rainy afternoon Tellin' stories about a rodeo and listenin' to a tune The rodeo starts tomorrow in this one horse town So Bill took our names and put our entries down I went to the rodeo office the next day to see What bareback horse I had and to pay my fees I looked across the list but my name wasn't to be found I thought Bill just might have forgot to put me down I looked across the board and I happened to find My name was on another list I was in the bull ridin' My knees began to knock and my face began to sweat And I heaved and gagged on the rodeo office step Well I may be a fool but a coward I'm not So I borrowed myself a bull rope with a bell in the knot I walked into the arena with them other bull ridin' fools I walked down the chutes and finally found my bull Then I put my rope in the middle of his back And had some cowboy pull up the slack Then I wrapped the tail around my hand and back And said boys open that gate just a little bitty crack Well the bull hit the gate with his head And I could see over his hump that his eyes were red He bailed out of there with a big snort and beller And something inside me told me I was yeller Well the dust and hair and flies from off of his hump Did wisk to my nose as he made another jump And the stink of it all was more than I could stand So I jerked my wrap and opened up my hand Well he jumped in the air and he made one more turn And as the rope slid through my hand it sure did burn He flung me down in a great big heap Then right in the middle of me he did leap no chord With his feet in my belly a standin' in place That dirty filthy old bull blew snot in my face So them damned old bulls you can run'em in a chute And put your ropes on them big galloots But the closest you're gonna find me to their stinkin' hair Is to help some other fool get flung in the air