Intro: Inside every teenage girl there's a fountain Inside every young pair of pants there's a mountain Inside every mother's eyes is Tommy Tinkrem's bed Inside every candidate waits a grateful dead I make it a thing, when I'm on my own to relieve myself I make it a thing, when I gazelle on stage to believe in myself I make it a thing, to glance in window panes and look pleased with myself Yeah, and pretend I'm walking home () I took it so bad, I sat in the correction room Took me a fag, and a kick in the moon Well, I ain't gonna suck no radar wing Because inside this tin is tin Would you like to techno-plate 'cause I'm your candidate, oh yeah It's a matter of life And the way you walk, you've got a BrylCream queen It's a matter of tact In the things you talk, that keeps his passport clean A matter of fact That a cock ain't a cock on a twelve inch screen So I'll pretend I'm walking home () You don't have to scream a lot to keep an age in tune You don't have to scream a lot to predict monsoons You don't have to paint my contact black Now I've hustled a pair of jeans Do I have to give your money back when I'm the Fuhrerling? I'll make you a deal I'll say I came from Earth and my tongue is taped I'll make you a deal You can get your kicks on the candidate I'll make you a deal For your future's sake, I'm the candidate Lets pretend we're walking home Uh-huh, uhhh I'm the candidate Make way for the candidate Vote now for the candidate ()

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