Uncle Harveys Plane

Me n' Oliver n' Virgil was at the drugstore killin' time, when my eyes fell on this magazine. and I got To reading this article 'bout sky-divin' and parachutin', said jumpin outta air-planes was a thing. Now being raised down on the farm and always ready for adventure, well I knew that I could find a Way. Delmer Gill he's got a parachute and Uncle Harvey's got an air-plane, so we called the boys together, today's the day, Well I found out too late, what Uncle Harvey called an air-plane wuttin' nothin but an engine and a wing. and I felt my fear begin to rise as delmer packed the parachute, 'cuz he tol' me I's doing the right thing, Ron Mcloughlin shook my hand and Jd strapped me in the harness so Tildon brought a jug n' they passed it 'round. So I took one look at that parachute and that whisky and that airplane and I turned that bottle up n' I drank it down. Well I was Drunker'n Cooter Jones when they poured me in that plane, the engine coughed as I Headed for the clouds. but I's sober as a judge when Harvey opened up the door and I've never known my heart to beat so loud. I screamed, :Harvey! I Can't Do this! You and I've known each other a very long time, you been my uncle all my life, to ask another human being to jump out of an airplane at this altitude and at this velocity is simply ridiculous man." at which point, he kicked me out the door and I wrapped my hands around the landing gear. and I was holdin' on real good 'til Harvey stepped upon my fingers and Virgil heard me scream from way down there. well I Thanked God And I thanked Buddha. I thanked Jesus I thanked Judah, I thanked Krishna and all the lesser Hindu gods, most of all i thanked my good friend Delmer Gill when my parachute finally opened and I thought, " Hell There Ain't No Use In Being Afraid!" I came crashing through that hen house, I scattered chickens, I broke eggs and then I kissed that ground, I fainted dead away. Now friends I been in a few battles n' I been shot at once r' twice and I damn near been runned over by a train, but I never do remember ever being so afraid. as the day I jumped from Uncle Harvey's plane