Now this man down at the used car lot tried to sell me four wheels and a trunk I said, "Man, there is no engine!", he said, "The engine's just a bunch of junk You don't need no engine to go downhill and I could plainly see, that that's the direction you're headed in", and he handed me the keyes (I said) No deal; you can't sell this stuff to me No deal, I'm going back to Tennessee Well, I went to a doctor of the highest order, he said I couldn't have a drink for a year One glass of wine on my birthday if my birthday wasn't too very near Lord, he must have put me in a state of shock 'cause I made it for about two weeks; then he sent me a bill that knocked me flat off the wagon and back down on my feet When true love knocked upon my door she'd just barely turned fifteen and I was a little bit nervous if you know just what I mean But I've heard somewhere that true love conquers all and I figured that was that then I started having dreams 'bout being chased out of town wearing nothing but my cowboy hat Well, I come through this life a stumbler, my friends I expect to die that way it could be twenty years from now it could be most any day But if there is no whiskey and women, Lord, behind them heavenly doors I'm gonna take my chances down below, and of that you can be sure

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