This Grudge

VERSE1: fourteen years thirty minutes 15 seconds I've held this grudge eleven songs 4 full journals, thoughts of punishment I've expended VERSE2: (same chords) not in contact not a letter such communication telepathic you've been vilified, used as fodder, you deserve a piece of every record BRIDGE: but who's it hurting now? Who's the one that's stuck? Who's it torturing now with an antique knot in her stomach I want to be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old All this time i've not known how to rest this bygone I want to be soft and resolved clean of slate and released I want to forgive for the both of us VERSE3: Like an abandoned house dusty-covered furniture still intact If I visit it now, do I simply re-live it somehow gratuitous BRIDGE: But who's still aching now? Who's tired of her own voice? Who's it weighing down with no gift from time of said healing I want to be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old All this time i've not known how to rest this bygone I want to be soft and resolved clean of slate and released I want to forgive for the both of us INTERLUDE: Maybe as i cut the cord veils will lift from my eyes Maybe as i lay this to rest dead weight off my shoulders will rise VERSE4: Here i sit, much determined ever ill-equipped to draw this curtain How this has entertained, validated and has served me greatly ever the victim BRIDGE: But who's done whining now? Who's ready to put down This load I've carried longer than I had cared to remember Chorus: I want to be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old For the life of me I've not known how to rest this bygone I want to be soft and resolved clean of slate and released I want to forgive for the both of us