Uneasy Rider '88

INTRO: Me and my buddy got us a wild hair And figured we wanted to go somewhere So we loaded up in my ragtop Chevrolet We had a little bit of money and a whole lot of show What with Hank Jr. blarin' on the radio We got a tank full of gas and we was on our way We figured we'd go down to New Orleans We were barrelin' down old sevetneen When a man with a blinkin' red light was on our tail He saidd you were doin' 60 in a 45 But I'm gonna let you go this time But if I catch you again I'm gonna slap you in the county jail We said thank you sir you've sure been nice And you ain't gonna have to tell us twice And we were southbound and down with the wind blowin' in our faces We kept on rollin' and pretty soon The radio was cooking out a Haggard tune And we were pullin' into and Houston checking out all them places I was feeling dry and I said I think We ought to stop and get ourselves a drink And old Jim said yeah 'cause we've got time to kill We kept on rollin' and I seen this spot And we pulled into the parking lot Of this place called the Cloud Nine Bar and Grill We walked thru the door and the place was jammed The lights were low and they had a punk rock band And some orange haired feller singing about suicide I said Jim this ain't our kind of place He said well let's just have one round anyway So against my better judgement we walked on inside Went up to the bar and we sat down This feller walked up and said I'll buy this round And he sat down on the barstool next to Jim He looked like a girl but he talked like a guy He had lipstick on and mascara in his eyes And everybody in that place looked just about like him I said Jim this ain't our kind of bar Let's just go on out and get back in the car 'Cause there's gonna be trouble ain't no sense in takin' a chance We was gettin' up gettin' ready to leave When somebody grabbed old Jim by the sleeve It was this good looking girl she was asking my buddy to dance I said Jim don't do it there's something missin' There's fellers dancin' and fellers kissin' There's a feller in high heel shoes wearin' panty hose He said partner I just can't turn this down You just go over there and have one more round And I'll dance with the lady and we'll get on down the road So he walked away and left me alone And this funny lookin' feller kept comin' on And he was makin' me mad with some of the things he said And then he put his hand on my knee I said if you don't get your paw off me I'm gonna locate your nose around on the side of your head He said I love it when you get that fire in your eye I said well partner try this on for size I unloaded on him and he went out like a light Everybody in that place must have been his friend They all headed for me I said this is the end But where I come from we don't give up without a fight They were screamin' and yellin' and scratchin' and clawin' I was punchin' and hittin' and kickin' and pawin' I was holdin' my own 'cause I've been in a scrap or two Old Jim come runnin' up outta the blue And that gal he was with come runnin' up too And proceeded to beat on me with a high heel shoe I grabbed her by the hair and it come off in my hand And that beautiful girl was just a beautiful man And old Jim just got sick right there on the floor He dropped that dude like a shot from a gun Smeared his lipstick made his makeup run And me and old Jim started fightin' our way to the door (KEY CHANGE TO ) We lit out of there in that Chevrolet And I put her on the floor and it stayed that way We was going down the highway doin' about a hundred and ten We was headed for home and we was gettin' nearer Then a red light come up in the rearview mirror And that same blame cop was pulling us over again (KEY CHANGE TO ) Now I'm sittin' here in this county jail I had to call my daddy to go our bail But I learned me a lesson that I never will forget again I've done give up drinkin' I've give up bars And runnin' around the country in souped up cars I'm goin' back where the women are women and the men are men