Oh, he doesn't smell like Irish Spring, And he never taught me anything, But still I slap my chest and sing - Of My Drunken Irish Dad. Oh, his face looks like a railroad map, And he never shuts his freakin' trap... But all the ladies catch the clap From your Drunken Irish Dad. Ask a Hennessey, Tennessey, Morrison, Shaughnessy, Reardon, and Rooney... They'll tell you the same McNulty, Mulrooney, and Connor and Clooney, All feel the same mixture of pride and of shame. Finnegan, Hannigan, Kelly, and Flanagan. Look to the ground while their dad passes by Cafferty, Rafferty, Joyce and O'Lafferty, Fight for his honor and then start to cry! Oh, we Irish lads are all infirm, And our moods infect us like a germ 'Cause we're all the spawn of a pickled sperm... And we don't tan well either. From a Drunken Irish Dad!!!
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