David Lazar - Doctor Freud

Verse: 1 Oh it happen'd in Vienna not so very long ago When not enough folks were getting sick, That a starving young physician Tried to better his position By dis covering what made his patients tick. Oh, Doctor Freud, oh, Doctor Freud, How I wish you had been otherwise em ployed, For that set of circumstances Sure en hances the finances Of the followers of Doctor Sigmund Freud. Verse: 2 He forgot about sclerosis, but invented the psychosis, And a hundred ways that sex could be enjoyed. He adopted as his credo: "Down Repression—Up Libido! And that was the start of Doctor Sigmund Freud. Oh, Doctor Freud, oh, Doctor Freud, How I wish you had been otherwise em ployed, For that set of circumstances Sure en hances the finances Of the followers of Doctor Sigmund Freud. Verse: 3 Then he analyzed the dreams of the teens and libertines, And he substituted monologues for pills. He drew crowds just like Wells-Sadler, When along come Jung and Adler, Who said, "By God, there's gold in them thar ills." Oh, Doctor Freud, oh, Doctor Freud, How I wish you had been otherwise em ployed, For that set of circumstances Sure en hances the finances Of the followers of Doctor Sigmund Freud. Verse: 4 They encountered no resistance when they served as Freud's assistants, As with Ego and with Id they deftly toyed. And instead of toting bed pans, They bore analytic dead pans— Those ambitious doctors Adler, Jung and Freud. Oh, Doctor Freud, oh, Doctor Freud, How I wish you had been otherwise em ployed, For that set of circumstances Sure en hances the finances Of the followers of Doctor Sigmund Freud. Verse: 5 Now, the Big Three have departed, but not so the cult they started— It's been carried on by many a goodly band. And to trauma, shock and war-shock, Someone went and added Rorshach, Now the thing has got completely out of hand. Oh, Doctor Freud, oh, Doctor Freud, How I wish you had been otherwise em ployed, For that set of circumstances Sure en hances the finances Of the followers of Doctor Sigmund Freud. Verse 6 Now old men with double chinseys and a million would-be Kinseys Will discuss it at the drop of a repression. Now, I wouldn't be complaining, But for all the dough I'm paying, To lie down on someone's couch and say confession. Oh, Doctor Freud, oh, Doctor Freud, How I wish you had been otherwise em ployed, For that set of circumstances Sure en hances the finances Of the followers of Doctor Sigmund Freud.