The Chivalrous Shark

Verse: 1 The most chivalrous fish of the ocean To ladies forebearing and mild Though his record be dark Is the man-eating shark Who will eat neither woman nor child. Verse: 2 He dines upon seamen and skippers, And tourists his hunger assuage, And a fresh cabin boy Will inspire him with joy If he's past the maturity age. Verse: 3 A doctor, a lawyer, a preacher, He'll gobble one any fine day But the ladies, God bless 'em, He'll only address 'em Politely and go on his way. Verse: 4 I can readily cite you an instance Where a lovely young lady of Breem, Who was tender and sweet And delicious to eat, Fell into the bay with a scream. Verse: 5 She struggled and flounced in the water And signaled in vain for her bark, And she'd surely been drowned If she hadn't been found By a chivalrous man-eating shark. Verse: 6 He bowed in a manner most polished, Thus soothing her impulses wild; Don't be frightened," he said, "I've been properly bred And will eat neither woman nor child." Verse: 7 Then he proffered his fin and she took it— Such a gallantry none can dispute— While the passengers cheered as the Vessel they neared And a broadside was fired in salute. Verse: 8 And they stood alongside the vessel, When a life-saving dinghy was lowered With the pick of the crew, And her relatives, too And the mate and the skipper aboard. Verse: 9 So they took her aboard in a jiffy, And the shark stood at attention the while, Then he raised on his flipper And ate up the skipper And went on his way with a smile. Verse: 10 And this shows that the prince of the ocean, To ladies forebearing and mild, Though his record be dark, He's the man-eating shark Who will eat neither woman nor child.