Mrs Crandalls Boarding House

verse 1 In the boarding house I lived in Everything was growing old Silver threads among the butter And the cheese was green with mold When the dog died we had sausages When the cat died catnip tea When the landlord died I left there Spare ribs were too much for me Oh my dear Missus Crandall I think I like you a lot I lived in your house quiet as a mouse Some day you'll be caught verse 2 Well girls can never change their nature It is quite beyond their reach Missus Crandall is a lemon She can never be a peach But the law of compensation Is the one I always preach You can always squeeze a lemon Have you tried to squeeze a peach Oh my dear Missus Crandall I think I like you a lot I lived in your house quiet as a mouse Some day you'll be caught verse 3 The train was standing at the station I was rushing full of care When I tripped on her cat and I stumbled And fell headlong down the stairs Missus Crandall came up to me "Did you miss a step, me son" "No," I says, "me dear landlady I hit every bloomin' one" Oh my dear Missus Crandall I think I like you a lot I lived in your house quiet as a mouse Some day you'll be caught Fade