Song For Wossy

Wossy, in two weeks you’ll be gone This is my last opportunity to sing you a song So I wanna ask a favour before You get on with your life Jonathan, I wanna make love to you Wossy I just wanna make sweet love to you Just once, I wanna make sweet love to you Sweet love to your wife There’s just something about her That drives me insane She’s got that cute sense of humour And a brilliant brain But if I’m totally honest My feelings for Jane Are mostly sexual Don’t wanna put you and her In an awkward position But I know I’d regret it If I didn’t ask the question I have talked to my wife And she gave me permission We both have a celebrity shag concession And mine is Jane Hers is Wayne Rooney Although to be fair There’s not much chance of scoring there Jane, in two weeks time Your hubby will be out on the breadline baby And surely you’re not gonna wanna be Spending time with a bum I know that in a month or three He’ll have weaselled his way back onto my TV But in the meantime, would you consider me For a little fun? ( ) Just one night, Jane, would embiggen me Just one night, baby, you’ll be diggin’ me Just a little dabble in temporary bigamy I just wanna make love, sweet love to you What I wouldn’t give for just one night with you Nothing too weird, just a nice night with a Couple of whips and an underwater camera I just wanna make a little sweet love to you Wossy, you can watch if that’d make you feel better That’d make it even more unforgettable You can hold the camera and make some bruschetta In case I get hungry making sweet love to your wife Stop me, won’t you Wossy, if this is getting weird? The thought of Jane nuzzling my ginger beard I’m just doing a song, like we agreed And it just happens to be a song about how I wanna Make sweet love to your wife Oooh Jonathan I’ve always admired you I was nervous about our interview But your producers assured me That all I had to do Was be totally honest...with you