The Lake

a northern state in the summer time my uncle’s lake on the fourth of July outside the cabin my sister tried to call like the loon with her hands cupped tight up against her mouth as the fireflies became visible in the failing summer light a sparkler in my hand i went after them as they went out in the night i wandered down into a quiet place where the grass grew tall where it met the lake there was a different bug must have bit my leg though i never saw it back at home i cried in my room my closest friend the one that i confided to: i wanted her but she wanted you i was sick in bed i could barely move and then as my body turned against itself i prayed for death that i’d come back to be anyone else be anyone else, be anyone else as sickness formed within my cells you never loved me like the way you loved anyone else you dig a hole dig it deep enough the truth buries itself and buries itself and i i disowned my own family all for love all for love and i was ashamed of my sister because she belonged to me when i wasn’t good enough i’m sorry, i'm sorry you were the only thing i should have ever loved i’m sorry, i'm sorry you were the only thing i should have ever loved (End with ukulele solo)