In My Mind

Intro In my mind In a future five years from now I'm 120 pounds And I never get hungover Because I will be the picture of discipline Never minding what state I'm in And be someone I admire And it's funny how I imagined that I would be that person now But it does not seem to have happened Maybe I've just forgotten how, to see That I'm not exactly the person that I thought I'd be And in my mind In the faraway here and now I've become in control somehow And I never lose my wallet Because I will be the picture of discipline Never fucking up anything And I'll be a good defensive driver And it's funny how I imagined that I would be that person now But it does not seem to have happened Maybe I've just forgotten how, to see That I'll never be the person that I thought I'd be And in my mind When I'm old, I am beautiful Planting tulips and vegetables Which I will mindfully watch over Not like me, now I'm so busy with everything That I don't look at anything But I'm sure I'll look when I am older And it's funny how I imagine that I could be that person now But that's not what I want, if that's what I wanted then I'd be giving up somehow How strange to see that I don't want to be the person that I want to be And in my mind I imagine so many things Things that aren't really happening And when they put me in the ground, I'll start pounding the lid, Saying "I haven't finished yet – I still have a tattoo to get That says 'I'm living in the moment'." And it's funny how I imagined that I could win this winless fight But maybe it isn't all that funny that I've been fighting all my life But maybe I have to think it's funny if I wanna live before I die And maybe it's funniest of all to think I'll die before I actually see That I am exactly the person that I want to be