Julian The Onion

Logger Days, savannah, the menagerie packed its trains Left Bitter Root, Montana for those old Nebraska plains Ticket sales were suffering now, with half the animals gone But the circus kept its course somehow and the show continued on Pitched their tents in Battle Creek on a makeshift flatbed stage With a draytop shotgun rhino's peak and a black wrought iron cage The barker sprung to action as the band began to play To introduce the new attraction who they'd picked up on the way Julian, Julian Julian the Onion who they'd picked up on the way BARKER: "Cleanse your minds and palates, as I seldom mince my words This poor boy's a walking shallot; yes, it's shocking as you've heard! From his lonesome, yellow childhood, so fantastically deformed He was battered by his classmates and sauteed like bantam corn 'Red Vidalias!' 'Valley Sweets!' for twelve long, rotten years If he so much as skinned his knee, the entire schoolhouse moved to tears We found him where he'd sprouted, plotting a garden coup d'etat In a carrot stick and celery stalk manage-a-mirepoix Now, feast your caramel eyes on the most savory sight in town!" All his joking well-evoking peals of laughter from the crowd But Julian, Julian Julian the Onion was not laughing with the crowd His jaundiced face was trembling, beads of sweat began to fall Down his oblong gooseback forehead to his snuffed-out lantern jaw His cut-shoot sprig of hair disheveled, tiny fists impearled JULIAN: "No I am not this misshaped body, and I'm not long for this world Wooden dimes and quiet fears, come curl your lips at me But all perceptions are as mirrors, it's your own reflections that you see So hide behind your laughs a while, look handsome though you may Oh, do enjoy that saccharine smile, as there comes for you a day"