800 Pound Jesus

I saw a garage sale, pulled up in the yard Found a statue of Jesus that was eight feet tall He held out his arms and he seemed all alone So I loaded him up and I drove him home Out by my driveway, he looks down the street Long hair and sandals made of rebar and concrete I painted him white with a long purple robe He's the rock of ages on a gravel road Chorus: He's an 800 pound Jesus Standing taller than a tree He's an 800 pound Jesus A bigger man than you or me I felt losing my job was the end of the world Till my best pal ran off with my best girl I felt suicidal with no real friends So I walked outside with a rope in my hands Out by that statue, there's a big oak tree So I stood on his shoulders and I counted to three I had every intention of buying the farm But when I jumped off he caught me in his arms Chorus I wanted to return the favor to him Cause I've never had a more solid friend So I planted some flowers all around his feet And I bought him a flock of ceramic sheep Chorus He's a bigger man than you or me