Miss Squirrel Revival

SONG: This is a revision to the lyrics provided by Frank Moroney that I obtained from Cowpie. I made a few corrections and added the chords. "Mississippi Squirrel Revival" Source is: Album; Ray Stevens Greatest Hits Label; MCA Records Catalogue Number; 5918-1 Song Writers; C.W. Kalb Jr. & Carlene Kalb INTRO: Well when I was a kid I'd take a trip Every summer down to Mississipp' To visit my granny and her antebellum world I'd run barefooted all day long Climbin' trees free as a song One day I happened to catch myself a squirrel Well I stuffed him down in an old shoe box And punched a couple of holes in the top And when sunday came I snuck him into church I was sittin' way back in the very last pew Showin' him to my good buddy hugh When that squirrel got loose and went totally berserk Well what happened next is hard to tell Some thought it was Heaven others thought it was Hell But the fact that something was among us was plain to see As the choir sang "I surrender all" The squirrel ran up Harve Newman's cover-alls And Harve leaped to his feet and said "Something's got a hold on me" YEOW!! CHORUS HOLD The day the squirrel went berserk In the First Self Righteous Church In that sleepy little town of Pastagoola (Pastagoola) It was a fight for survival That broke out in revival They were jumpin' pews and shoutin' hallelujah (halleluja) Well Harve hit the aisles a-dancin' and screamin' Some thought he had religion others thought he had a demon And Harve thought he had a weed eater loose in his fruit of the looms He fell to his knees to plead and beg And the squirrel ran out of his britches leg Unobserved to the other side of the room All the way down to the Amen pew Where sat Sister Bertha-Better-Than-You Who'd been watching all the commotion with sadistic glee Well you should'a seen the look in her eyes When that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her thighs She jumped to her feet and said "Lord have mercy on me" As the squirrel made laps inside her dress She began to cry and then to confess To sins that would make a sailor blush with shame She told of gossip and church disention But the thing that got the most attention Was when she talked about her love life And then she started namin' names Well seven deacons and the pastor got saved And twenty five thousand dollars got raised And fifty volunteered for missions in the Congo - on the spot And even without an invitation There were at least five hundred re-dedications And we all got re-baptised whether we needed it or not Now you've heard the Bible story I guess How he parted the waters for Moses to pass Oh the miracles God has wrought in this old world But the one I'll remember 'til my dying day Is how he put that church back on the narrow way With a half crazed Mississippi squirrel