Adelaide's OK

Adam: As part of our "Adelaide, it's okay" week we've asked Tripod to come up with a catchy song in honour of Adelaide. In particular, Bob Hope's dead, if we could have a mention of that; there's the Glenelg tram; we want a hidden message somewhere in the song; we want reference to the nutritional benefit of some obscure food source and we want a brutal payout on some other part of Australia. Tripod, the "Adelaide's Okay" song... (At this point Tripod realise they forgot the brutal payout and you hear things such as "we forgot", "oops", "no, it's okay") Scod: Everybody used to say, That Adelaide was kind of scary, But I never felt that way. And when you rode the Glenelg tram, It used to shake as it moved over, Unmarked graves. Tripod: But I just think, It's bad workmanship. We're smoothing out the problems, As we go in Adelaide. The ones that we can't solve, Then we're just burying. Yon: If the city is like beef jerky, As everyone always says. Scod: Then we've added some salt, And we've... (throughout spoken part) Gatesy: Guess we've, sort of, levelled it out... Scod: Yeah... Yon: Oh, no, no, no, we've taken out salt. Scod: Why? Yon: 'Cause beef jerky is salty. Gatesy: Quite salty. Scod: Oh, okay. Yon: Don't know why you'd want to have more salt. Scod: It's a weird metaphor, that one. Gatesy: Yeah. Yon: Yeah, it's a strange one. Scod: Everybody used to say, That the old Van Morrison ad was better, But I never felt that way. I prefer my tourist dollars, To go towards some imitation, Session guy. Tripod: Doing a rip-off, Of a good song. (throughout spoken part) Gatesy: I hate that! Scod: I know, it's just cheap, isn't it? Gatesy: Terrible! Yon: Absolutely! And then I like when they change the melody just enough so it's, like, a different song, but you know what they're basically trying to rip off. Scod: Yeah, exactly. Gatesy: They should just write their own bloody song. Yon: Yeah, I so agree. Tripod: We're smoothing out the problems, As we go in Adelaide. We're scaling down the boringness, In an understated way. Yon: If the city was like bread pudding, As everyone always says. Scod: Then we've added a few more raisins, And we've... (throughout spoken part) Gatesy: Put in... nutmeg... Scod: Nutmeg! Gatesy: Yeah, nutmeg! Scod: D'you put in nutmeg, in bread pudding? Yon: Absolutely. Scod: Really? Gatesy: 'Cause it's a spicy kind of dessert. Scod: Right. Yon: Yeah. Gatesy: But not in a savoury way, like, it's not a chilly sort of... Yon: No, no. It's just aromatic. Scod: I've never understood that metaphor - a city like bread pudding. Yon: (Robotic) Adelaide is still shit, Adelaide is still shit. Adelaide is still shit, Perth is much worse though. Tripod: We're smoothing out the problems, As we go in Adelaide. We've knocked down Magic Mountain, And put flats up. Gatesy: Good on ya. Yon: If the city is like Bob Hope, As everyone always said. Tripod: Well, let's not use that metaphor, 'Cause that guy's dead. () (You get the idea) Yon: We're smoothing out the problems... Scod: We're smoothing out the problems... Gatesy: We're smoothing out the problems... Yon: ... As we go in Adelaide. Scod: ... As we go in Adelaide. Gatesy: ... As we go in Adelaide. Yon: We're smoothing out the problems... Scod: We're smoothing out the problems... Gatesy: We're smoothing out the problems... Yon: ... As we go. Gatesy: ... As we go. Yon: Smooth... Scod: Smooth... Gatesy: Smooth... End on Tripod: Smooth...