Army Recruitment Song

Transcribed by Rob [email protected] (palm muted. Got that same beat as on the real adds) Spoken: Joining today's modern defense force is hard enough. First you have to choose: Navy, Airfoce, Army, Kiss Army, Salvation Army, Army of Darkness, but even when you've chosen, you have to make the grade. (All chords palm muted for first verse) Verse: I'm way too skinny for the Army? Way too slender for the job? What can I do if my country doesn't want me cause My talents only stretch to mini golf? I'm way too uncool for the Army All that running through car tyres I guess that would come in handy if you invaded A country whose terrain was all car tyres. Chorus:(clean) But I'm skinny and unclever Maybe now more than ever F The technology has caught up with me If wars have gone all electronic C I could fight them with my joystick As long as they bring pizza to me Then I could be in the Army. Verse 2: It's not tricky to imagine Me in a bunker at a screen Controlling reconaisance robots Maybe mine detecting robots Even robots who run through tyres Chorus: But I'm skinny and unclever Maybe now more than ever The technology has caught up with me If wars have gone all electronic I could fight them with my joystick While watching McLeod's Daughters on TV Then I could be in the Army. Verse 3: I was never good at Pacman But at Defender I'd light up the skies I was never good at Frogger It's much to much like hopping all the tyres And if I don't get in the Army I could become an evil mastermind Live in an underwater tower And wearing shiny skivvies all the time That would be fine Chorus: Skinny and unclever Maybe now more than ever The technology has caught up with me, (If I could make up my mind) If wars have gone all electronic I could fight them with my joystick As long as they bring pizza to me Then I could be in the Army____.