For Angela

Dear Customer Complaint Department I have nothing to complain about In fact, I have nothing but good things to say About your company today Let me begin by saying That normally, I avoid your store like the plague But recently on a drive to Dallas My car broke down on the side of the road In West, Texas, not the direction But the town called West It was the battery I got a jump-start for free with my Triple- card But the local mom-and-pop garage Were unfortunately unable to assuage My electrical conundrum 'cause my car is not American-made So still running from my earlier jump-start, I drove on down the road, and for the first time in my life, Praying that I'd see a Wal-Mart Now normally your store is like a virus Like Miley Cyrus In a teen magazine Every five miles on the road, Like a toad A monstrous amphibian on the horizon, Entirely blocking out the sun But today Murphy's Law was riding shotgun I didn't see one For 47.5 miles And as I drove into Lancaster, Texas That alabaster albatross arose out of the darkness And I cried tears of joy as I drove around the back To the Tire and Lube Garage And I jumped out with my car still running I asked a jump-suited employee if he could change my battery But he didn't have a smile for me He said, "Forty-five minute wait" But in forty-five minutes I was going to be late To my very first show at Uncle Calvin's Coffee House At a church in northeast Dallas So I stood under the late afternoon sun On the hot asphalt My car continued to run... And I thought, "this is the end of the line..." I was running out of gas And running out of time Figuring I'd finish my days In a Wal-Mart parking lot, in a heat-stroke haze When an angel appeared at my side And her name-tag read 'Angela,' she had pity in her eyes She said, "Pull in to Bay number two, and pop your hood, and I'll see what I can do" And she examined the dimensions of my battery Said, "Yeah, I think we have that. I'll go get it for you." And the sun began to feel like my friend And when she returned, she had tools to lend And Angela and I worked side-by-side As though we'd worked together since the dawn of time Five minutes later, when I tried to pay her, She said, "Pay for the battery, But you don't owe me anything" As I turned to leave, She said, "Write a letter to Wal-Mart And tell them what you think of me"... So Dear Customer Complaint Department, I have nothing to complain about In fact, I have nothing but good things to say Please pass on my thanks to Angela today And you should give her a raise... And let her unionize Sincerely, Matt.