First Baptist Bar And Grille

Key of Well, the () church burned down and no one knew What () Penecost Baptist was gonna do The () Sunday brimstom got so dadgum hot In burned () up a church bus in the parkin' lot In a () panick the reverend Dr. White Called () up an ex-member than hadn't lived right He owned () Joe's beer joint right across the fence It's the () same Joe's he'd preached against He said I () don't really want to be a hipocrit I got a () Sunday school class that's about to shit We're all () excited about revival week And () moved by the spirit so to speak With all the () souls we saved and the money we spent We () thought God told us to sell that tent I got a () famous evangilist supposed to come And done () run out of chairs, will you loan us some? Joe says () hell you can just use the whole dang place on the jukebox "Amazing Grace" I ain't () supposed to open because of them blue laws But we'll () open tonight if it's allright with y'all Preacher said () well I reckon that'd be OK The () good Lord works in mysterious ways I was gonna () talk about Joshua, Judges and Ruth And I () reckon I can do it from the DJ booth At the () First Baptist Bar and Grill It's the () smells like a whisky still When the () sinners finish one more round () We'll have dinner on the ground And () killed Key Change (move all chords up 1/2 step; ) The evangilist came with a well-dressed choir They showed up around happy hour Looked around the joint and didn't take it real well said the White ministry has gone to hell Ms. Mills that taught youth Sunday school And two deacons in the back room shootin' pool Were sharin' the Lord with a Jim Beam rep Who was teachin' Ms. Mills some line dance steps Reverend White was readin' from the book of Luke To a tall, drunk trucker about to puke He had John 3:16 memorized Tryin' to dried him out to get him baptised The evangilist yelled about the lights and the beer Said White you can't save any souls in here This place ain't nothin' but a den of sin Ain't the kind of place Baptists ought to be in Preacher said well we don't really need y'all here You didn't do a very good job last year Only saved one sinner, that's Todd McGuire And he's the little son of a bitch that set my church on fire Joe's beer joint has done been revived Only been here an hour and I done saved five. Sure it's got mirrors and a big dance floor But I finally found the flock God called me for. At the () First Baptist Bar and Grill It's the () smells like a whisky still Not a () stained glass window anywhere in site, Just a () blood-stained floor and neon lights, And the () chilled. We're here every Sunday; We're livin' large; We're the only church with a cover charge. And if you don't like our doctrine and think we ain't devout, We'll have our bouncer throw your butt out ... Of the First Baptist Bar and Grill