verse 1 N.C. Lady, I Have been told that you only date nice guys Well, if that's how you judge a lover's worth Your ass just hit pay dirt I'm the most sensitive man on God's green earth Here's a rose bouquet I also baked you some fresh creme brûlée Now mount this stallion and we shall ride While also flying kites And make love inside a rainbow through the night Then after sex I'll cry Cry And also before sex I'll cry Cry BRIDGE (Girl, you know how I feel about you. It's like you're a fossil sample, and I'm an impatient paleontologist…'cause I want to date you badly) verse 2 Watch a film with me I love boring romantic co_me____dies Hop in my carriage, this is like your dream Any movie we see Can be a drive-in movie if we build up enough speed Now it's almost dawn I can communicate with newborn fawns Now they'll perform an ancient forest dance That will melt off your pants Take my junk by the hand, this is romance! And during sex I'll cry____ (thinking about sex makes me) Cry__(Even when I use a sextant I) Cry______ (They measure angles) Cry (Sorry, was that too sensitive for you? Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I'll just be over here thinking about a duckling riding on the back of a puppy. Also the duckling is wearing a tiny cowboy hat -- slightly tilted.)
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